It can be very hard to know what to say to your ex, even more so if you are trying to get them back. When we feel under stress or are uncertain of what to say we can very often come across in the wrong manner. With that in mind I suggest you read the following tips about how to approach your ex, what to say and what not to say, in order to increase your chances of getting them back.
Engage your brain before using your mouth! Although it may feel good at the time to try and score points against your ex by bringing up their past mistakes and screw ups, ultimately you may end up saying things that your ex will resent and permanently hold against you. While most people will agree that getting things off your chest can feel cathartic, if you want to get back with your ex then you need to avoid doing anything that’ll hurt them.
Be constructive and optimistic. Everyone likes to communicate in a positive manner and your ex will be no different. Taking a positive approach is essential if you want your ex to see you in the best possible light and to start to miss you.
Be cool, calm and collected. In the event that it was you who was the one who ended up being dumped you will be interested in this next piece of advice.
If it was your ex that finished with you then the last thing you want to do is boost their ego as they are still in the control seat as far as the relationship is concerned. Take the opposite approach to the way you might naturally be feeling and tell them that you’re fine with the break-up. This can have the effect of making them feel that you truly are slipping away from them and will allow you to take some control back.
Don’t be too free with words of flattery. Although it may feel natural to shower your ex with compliments, such as you did in your courting early days, when you inflate the ego of an ex too much they will think that they deserve someone better and will marginalise your feelings. So even though it pays to be positive, don’t go overboard and start giving out the wrong messages with too much flattery.
When you speak, drop into the conversation the fact that you have a new hobby or interest. When your ex thinks you have new things in your life it will inherently make them feel envious and slightly jealous.
When your ex sees you acting in a positive manner and they hear that you have new interests, and possibly even a new romantic relationship, you set the scene for them to come running back into your arms.
Leave your ex guessing. When you speak to your ex don’t end the conversation saying ‘you’ll see them soon’, as this will leave them thinking that all they have to do is wait to hear from you. Instead, leave them stew a bit, with the thought that they will have to take action if they want to see you again.
Remind them of the happy times and memories you share, this will help overshadow any negatives you may have experienced. You need to exercise caution using this tip as if they sense you keep bringing up the past they may believe that you are having trouble moving on and are unable to breath fresh life into the relationship.